TOUGH WEEK!
Well this has been one of the roughest weeks ever. I know that some of you know that I am (was) a smoker. I have smoked for about 15 years. I made a promise to myself that I would quit by my 30th for myself and everyone else around me.
Well with my B-day on Saturday, I knew that this past weekend was D-Day. So Sunday I awoke a non-smoker.
Horrible, horrible decision (not really) but it has been sooooooooooooo awful.
I feel that I am in detox from some hard drug like heroine or cocaine or something. I am very depressed, moddy beyond belief, and if I know you, then I will probably rip your face off from one minute to the next. The bottom line is that I am hurting!
I know that I need to not smoke. I know that it is healthier for me and my family. I know that this is the right thing but, here are the things I don't know:
I don't know if I do not want to smoke. Smoking has been a large part of my life for so long that it feels like a death. To some of you this may sound pathetic, but it's true. I feel that something in me or about me has died/changed. Not to mention the fact that I turned 30 on Saturday and then ripped my whole world upside down on Sunday.
I don't know if I can be successful. It has been 4 days since my last cig and I know there are more days left for the physical addiction to dissolve and then it's left to the pyschological addiction. I want to smoke just the same as I wanted to smoke 4 days ago. Now it is true that the pain is not as intense but it's still there.
I know that this seems like a ramble but it's not. Please no one ask me if I am trying the patch or the pill or the cough drop because I am not. I quit Cold Turkey and I really wished that I had not quit at all.
Peace Out!
From the ramblings in my head at 5:58 PM
4 Comments:
First of all - the anon comments from the last post are not me.
What you are doing is hard and you are entitled to feel that it IS hard, but it is also worthwhile for you, your hubby and the rest of your family. Too much out there on carcinogens to accept that it's an okay thing any longer. Why not do everything you can in order to try to live a healthy life a little longer?
You can do this! I know you can, it's just not going to be easy. That's the other thing - it's hard to watch those that you love in their addicted state. You also are being a witness and example for those that follow.
You are ensuring that you won't be growing a beard and have a raspy voice. You and your home will smell better. Your lungs are going to hug you! You are going to save TONS of money!!!
Hold the line. You are on your way! You CAN do this!
Dear Daughter-in-law - I feel so for you and while I have never smoked I see the trouble first hand - Hubby is trying to quit and using the pills but I see no difference yet - ONe day he's buying a pack then saying never again and then comes in with a carton - He's frustrated with him self and there is nothing - nothing I can do to help. I commend your stopping cold turkey - that is an incredibly hard thing to do - All I can give you is my prayers and understanding that you have taken on a task that WILL improve your health over the years and also that of your family. If there is ever anything I can do, just scream - even if it is to scream at someone - I'm here for you always, MOM
Very hard thing to do - proud of you for even thinking it and starting it. But, you are right...turning 30 is one of those momentous life events that cause stress and then to quit smoking is yet another stressful event. Perhaps life events are best to spread out - but either way - you go girl :) xoxo
Smart thing to do, to quit, and even though you feel you've lost your best friend, in the scheme of things, you'll heal in short order, so stick to it. I, too, quit "cold turkey" when a young J came home from elementary school and asked me to, having learned its dangers in class. Only smoked for 3 years, therefore, my hat is off to you!
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